Reappear
by Mad Hatter Usagi
Summary: After going on a solo mission, Allen disappears with Jasdevi. The Order searches desperately for Allen for a month, but gives him up for dead. A year after his disappearance, he shows up at the Order looking beaten and bloodied. After he's healed, he tells Komui why he left, but he wants to keep it a secret. Yullen! R&R please!


_**An pair of level one akuma burst from the bodies of the twins, disfiguring the limp bodies underneath the massive, soul-torturing machines. The young mother whimpered and sobbed, staying within their range. Allen screamed at her to move, but she didn't seem to hear. He swung his sword, slicing through the souls' captors and destroying them before they could kill their mother.**_

_**The woman trembled, watching what Allen's eye allowed her, a vision of her two little girls floating towards the sky and dissipating, holding hands along the way. Her children were free. It had all begun with the deaths of their grandparents, and now they would go see them.**_

_**A black ark warped down, touching the ground of the empty street. Allen sent the mother on her way, sensing the danger in the short moment before the door opened. David and Jasdero swaggered out, waving their guns around. **_

_**"Oi! Cross's brat! Come with us!" David yelled.**_

_**"What? No way," Allen replied, although you could only see his back.**_

_**"You have to!" Jasdero cried, wrapping his arm around Allen's shoulder. He whispered in the exorcist's ear, sure to stare at Timcampy out of the corner of his eye, who was recording everything, with eyes that nearly popped out of their sockets.**_

_**"Okay. Okay, I'll come," Allen said, allowing the two of them to drag him nearly through the ark before turning to the camera, to Tim, and speaking again. "Go home, Tim. Wait for me, I'll be back."**_

_**The camera wobbled as the golem nodded, then took off. A pair of akuma that burst from the ark took off in pursuit, but the golden golem was much too fast. Eventually, Timcampy sped through a window in the Order's headquarters, shattering a window. He landed on Komui's desk, ready to show the tape.**_

* * *

Komui stared at the golden creature in front of him. Having watched the video several times, he was still shocked by Allen's action. He had willingly gone along with the Noah, with barely any fight in him. The Asian wondered what could make him do that, besides being a traitor. It had been days since Allen's last report, a few hours before his disappearance, which made the Order nervous. Allen always called home and asked to speak to his friends, even Kanda, although the samurai never answered.

Johnny knocked on the office door and walked in holding a stack of paperwork. "Sir, you should really be getting to work. Hey, is that Timcampy? Is Allen back?"

"No, he's not back. Can you gather the exorcists for me. I need to talk to them."

"Yes, sir. Is, um, is Allen okay?" Johnny nodded, looking worried.

"He's fine."

"Okay," the scientist looked unconvinced but ran to do what Komui said.

About a half hour later, the exorcists streamed in. Lenalee took a seat on one end of the couch in front of Komui's desk, Miranda sat next to her, looking around like she was in trouble. Kanda leaned against the wall, looking completely pissed that he was there, as always. Lavi flopped back onto the couch next to Miranda, taking up the rest of the space. Krory perched on the armchair, his knees tucked to his chest and his cloak spread out over the chair.

"What did you need, brother?" Lenalee asked, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"Tim came back," he responded quietly.

"S-So where's Allen?" Miranda asked, looking around.

Komui's head dipped, "That's the problem. Tim came back, but Allen didn't. This happened instead." He nodded to Timcampy, who projected the events again, on the wall this time.

After the video ended, all was silent for a few minutes. Lenalee shut her eyes tightly, trying not to cry. "He's not a traitor, he can't be," Lavi said. "We all know him, and we know he wouldn't...he hates the Earl and the Noah."

"Our problem is that we might not be able to convince Central that. For now, he's going to be labeled missing, but if he doesn't return in a month with a detailed explanation, then he will be called a traitor."

Kanda growled and left the room, making those still residing within think that he was annoyed, or he thought that Allen was in fact a deserter. He was, in reality, hurt. He didn't know what to think. Maybe the Fourteenth took over. Maybe Allen was upset over being singled out. Maybe he was threatened. Maybe he was protecting someone.

The samurai's heart hurt, just like it did every time Allen called to check in and asked for him, or whenever he left for a mission. Just like when Kanda could catch a glimpse of the immense sadness, confusion, and loneliness that he saw in the Moyashi's eyes when he thought no one could see. Kanda was in love with him, and he had known this for so long.

He was overjoyed every time he heard someone call his name, saying that Allen was asking for him on the phone. He felt like laughing and smiling whenever Allen walked back through the Order's huge doors. He nearly collapsed every time he saw Allen walk away from a fight. Yet he never acted on the impulses to show his feelings or tell the other about his love.

He was afraid that if he did tell him, things would change. Kanda worried that the calls would stop coming. He was terrified that Allen wouldn't come back. His heart nearly broke when he thought that Allen might be dying, or being tortured somewhere by the Noah.

_Maybe it was my fault_, he thought. _Since I always said I hated him and never gave in and really talked to him. Maybe he left because he felt hated by the people here, even me._ _What if I had answered those phone calls or smiled when he walked in the room? Would he have stayed? Probably not. He probably would have left sooner, to get away from the man who loved him, to leave the one he'd never love back._

Kanda felt a light weight press against his shoulder as he stormed down the hall. He stopped and turned slightly to see Timcampy settled on his shoulder. The golem's tail whipped about, and it's angelic wings fluttered softly. It shifted slightly to project another clip on the wall.

_**Allen sat on the bed, in his room at the Order. He looked out his window with wistful eyes. "You know, Tim," he said. "If I ever leave you, whether by death or choice, I want you to stay with the BaKanda, okay? He's always so lonely...just like me... He deserves someone who can stay with him, even if you can't talk." Allen turned back to the camera, now smiling. **_

_**"I think he deserves someone to be there for him. I'd do it, but he hates me."**_

Kanda ducked into an empty room and sat down quickly. Tears dripped down his cheeks, making him wipe at his eyes angrily. He couldn't believe he was crying, but he was just so happy and devastated at the same time. Allen was gone, but when he was there he did think of him. He cared enough to leave something behind for him.

* * *

The black ark snapped open in the middle of a forest, it's doors opening quickly. Allen was shoved out by a pair of small, slender, and gloved hands, waving goodbye for their owner. The exorcist whimpered when he hit the ground, his injuries flaring with intense pain. The ark's doors closed and disappeared, leaving Allen alone.

He knew where he was, the owner of the gloves had told him before being pushed through the doors. Allen was laying a mile from the Order, just outside their tight barriers. It was the best the owner of the gloves could do, under the circumstances. So Allen had to get moving before the injuries took their full toll and made him pass out.

He made it to his feet, then began staggering toward the looming building he could see over the trees. Allen needed to make it back, he had been gone for so long, he knew that even though he had long lost count of the days. The man he dearly loved lived there. He didn't know what to expect when he returned, but he just needed to see him again.

After a while, his head swam, making him sway. Looking up, he saw that he was past the barrier, made obvious by the pair of surveillance golems that sat in trees, and one that circled him. Their bat-like wings beat against the air harshly as their single eyes stared at him. His skin was bloody, pale, and covered in cuts and bruises that would make a war veteran feel nauseous. Allen's hands were the worst though, covered in so many scars from torture. His eyes had dark circles under them, proving his lack of decent sleep. All of this coupled with how frighteningly skinny he was.

Allen barely managed to utter the word, "Help," before the ground shifted under his feet. The next thing he was aware of was the feeling of dirt and grass against his cheek. Blood soaked the ground as his eyes slid shut.

* * *

He knew he was awake before he opened his eyes, the awareness of consciousness flooded over him. He felt a bed against his back and the chirping of songbirds, though muffled by the glass of a window. He had blankets, and even more than that, he felt the tightness of bandages against his skin. The sour smell of rubbing alcohol hit him, and he knew that he was in the intensive care unit in the hospital wing.

Allen's eyes edged their way open, letting in the harsh white light. He winced and whimpered slightly, shutting them again. Slowly, he reopened his eyes and looked around. Komui was asleep in a chair by his bed, Tim sat at the side table, there was a Crow at the door, watching him. Allen ignored all of this and looked out the window. A small bird with a pinkish-red breast sat on the ledge outside the window, reminding him of his savior.

"Director," the Crow said in a deep, urgent voice. He was nervous over the small light that had appeared in Allen's silver eyes.

Komui woke, looking at Allen. He nodded and stood as he said, "Allen Walker, since you disappeared for a year, you have been branded a traitor. I will let the others know that you've returned, and you are awake, but they will not be allowed contact with you. You are an unknown entity."

"Yes, sir," Allen nodded, the light fading from his eyes. He was resigned to his fate.

"I will return to question you when you're better," Komui turned and left the room, the Crow went to stand outside the door.

Timcampy flew the short distance to Allen's lap, settling himself there. "Hey, Tim," Allen said softly. "Did you stay with him?"

The golem projected random clips of Kanda's daily life onto the wall, giving the exorcist his answer. Allen smiled a little, watching the raven-haired man live on without him. He was glad, but also hurt that it didn't seem like his life had changed at all without him.

* * *

Kanda sat on the bench seat at one of the dining hall tables, all alone. He used to have Timcampy with him every day, but sometime during the night the golem had disappeared. He was a upset, yet he didn't show it.

Lenalee ran through the room, looking panicked and beside herself with joy. She stopped just short of hitting Kanda's table, her face beaming as she said, "Allen's back! He's in the hospital wing!" Her face fell as she continued, "But they're still calling him a traitor. We won't be able to see him."

"I don't want to see him anyway, he's the traitor that everyone thinks he is." Kanda said, staring into his food.

She continued as if she hadn't heard him, "My brother told me that he looks bad, and I mean really bad. He's got cuts, bruises, and scars. He's lost a lot of blood too. Nee-san also said that when he talked to him the Fourteenth hadn't taken over."

"I said I don't care."

"Tim was there too, apparently he flew in when Allen was laid down. He said that Tim bit anyone who tried to remove him."

"I don't-"

"Kanda!" She said sternly, "I know you do care, and you do want to know. You like him, you just don't want to admit it. You **love** him."

Kanda glared, "No, I really-"

"You are an open book to me, Kanda Yuu. No one else can tell under your rough exterior, but I find it obvious that you love him. Every time anyone talks bad about him you look like you're ready to beat them up. And any time anyone talks about their good memories of him, you look like you're going to cry, although I doubt you ever would."

Kanda was silent as he glared at the table. "He left on his own," he said, barely a whisper.

"And he came back on his own."

* * *

Timcampy was laying on Allen's lap, his tail curled around his body, and his wings flattened back. Allen had sat in silence for the past hour, giving Tim a rest. For once, he was resting too. He hadn't fought against the Fourteenth since his escape, leaving his mind calm and focussed. It was nice, he thought, that he could relax for once.

The head nurse walked in with a cart. The stoic old woman was emotionless as she approached Allen and said, "As you slept, we took X-rays and saw that you have metal pieces hidden inside your abdomen. They might promote health problems as you live out your life. It is also feared that they may be surveillance devices planted by the Noah. So we are going to perform surgery to remove them."

Allen nodded, knowing for certain that they weren't. They were broken tips of needles and bullet shrapnel. He knew that it wouldn't matter to tell her anyway, they were being removed any way. "Okay."

"Now, I'm going to give you an anesthetic," the nurse said, pulling out a needle.

Allen nodded and lifted his arm for her, using his other hand to set Tim aside on the side table. As she injected him, sleep overtook him. He hoped, in the back of his mind, that he wouldn't wake up like he used to in the black ark.

* * *

Allen heard the whispers before he truly woke. Even when he was sure he was awake, he made sure to keep his eyes closed so he could eavesdrop more successfully.

"-don't know what happened. As soon as we cut him open, feathery tendrils reached out of him and sat the pieces of metal on the tray, then retreated back into him like nothing happened." The nurse's voice said.

"Sounds like Allen's innocence decided to help him..." That sounded like Reever, "He definitely hasn't turned into the Fourteenth yet."

"That's good. Was there any complications with him, other than that?" Komui's voice asked.

"No, he was perfectly fine besides that," the nurse answered.

"Great. Now I'll just have to question him. I'll come back later," Komui said, then the sound of two sets of retreating footsteps. A few moments later, there was the retreat of the nurse, and Allen was able to sit up without being seen.

He numbly groped at his chest, where bandages blocked his fingers from touching his pale skin. Raising his left hand to eye-level, Allen spoke to it tenderly, "Thank you for saving me again."

* * *

Kanda sat at a dining hall table, just like before, but now it was dinner and three days had passed. Lavi and Lenalee sat down and began to chatter, as always. Recently their only topic of conversation had been Allen. Lenalee usually led the conversation, eyeing Kanda meaningfully every once in a while.

This time, Lenalee cut straight to it instead of gently edging at something. "Okay, Nee-san said that Allen's had enough time to rest, so he's going to ask him questions tonight, when the nurse falls asleep and can't interfere with them. If Allen's clean, he'll be released and we'll be able to see him again."

"And if he's not?" Lavi asked, tilting his head. Kanda wanted to ask the same question, but he silently stared at his food instead.

"Then he'll be locked up, or possibly killed."

Kanda pushed his plate away and stood, his heart beating quickly and his stomach lurched.

"Where're you going, Yuu?" Lavi asked.

"Don't call me that!" Kanda snapped, "I'm not hungry, I'm going to go train."

* * *

Komui sat next to Allen's bed as the other sat there with a beating heart. The exorcist was acutely aware of the presence of the Crow at the door. He didn't want to think about what happened, or why, but he needed to.

"So, where were you?" The director asked bluntly.

"With them, in the other ark." Allen replied quietly.

"May I ask why?"

The scarred man brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, looking pained. "I don't want to-"

"Please, Allen. I don't want them to brand you a traitor. You are a part of the family here, and it will hurt everyone if you have to be locked away because you won't talk to us."

"...They said they were going to kill him...and I love him so much. I-I know he can look after himself, but the last time he fought the Noah, he was hurt really bad. And if I didn't go with them, they were going to send all of them after him and..." Allen's cheeks were streaked with tears as he blubbered.

"Calm down," Komui said awkwardly. "Who did they threaten?"

"Kanda," the exorcist whispered.

"You-"

"I love him, and I haven't told him. He's probably going to think I was a traitor, but I didn't even want to go, I just had to."

Komui stared at the crying exorcist, watching how his body trembled every time he spoke. "What happened while you were with them?"

"They tried to force the Fourteenth out. They tortured me and kept me in a cell when I was weak. I was given water scarcely, and food was even more rare," Allen said as he buried his face in his arms. His voice was muffled by his body and blankets.

"Did you ever get taken over?" Komui asked delicately.

He shook his head, "No, but it was close some times. Since I've been back, I've felt nothing at all."

"How'd you get to leave?"

Allen looked up, "Road came into my cell one night and said she hated what they were doing to me. She said that even though she loved her family, she loved me too, and wanted me to be free. She knew I didn't feel the same, but also knew that what they were doing was wrong. So she got me out through a door in the ark, then destroyed the door."

The director nodded and stood, "I'll give my report to Central."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

There was a boring week of waiting in the infirmary before Komui returned one morning, this time alone and with a smile. He strode up to Allen and said, "You have been deigned acceptable and are henceforth released from your stay in the hospital wing."

Allen crawled out of the bed, feeling the cool tile under his feet, "So I can go back to my room?"

"Of course. Link will resume staying with you though."

The white-haired man smiled, "Okay. I'll be in the dining hall after I change, so if he doesn't get to me at my room, tell him to go there."

Allen walked out of the hospital wing with a soft smile on his face, Timcampy fluttering along behind him. He passed almost no one on his way to his room, and he got lost twice. The people who did see him simply stared with wide eyes. When Allen reached his room, he shut and locked the door, flopping back on his bed.

The tears came without warning, and as soon as they did his heart shuddered. He was home. He wasn't alone anymore. He was finally **safe**. Allen wrapped his arms around himself, feeling the bandages underneath the thin, hospital-issued shirt. The crying stopped slowly, and he was able to stand and walk towards his wardrobe.

Allen pulled on a white button-up, but left the top two buttons undone and the collar unstraightened. A pair of black pants and knee-high boots came next. He ran a hand through his hair, knowing it would do no difference, and stared at himself in the mirror. The differences between himself of a year ago, and him now, was startling.

He looked better than when he had first arrived though. His bruises had faded, and cuts healed. The dark circles had disappeared with an accumulation of good nights rests. He had gained a few pounds, adding a little more flesh to him, but he could really do well to gain at least twenty more to look healthy.

Allen opened his door again, to head down to the dining hall, and Link was standing there. The exorcist smiled and said, "Hello, Link."

Link nodded, "Welcome back, Walker."

* * *

Kanda was in the training room, doing exactly what should be done there, when he heard the door clatter open and a pair of feet race in. That was when he was tackled to the ground by the slender Asian girl. She squealed loudly, smiling, as she pulled on him to get him up again.

"Allen's out! We can see him! My brother says he's in the dining hall!" Lenalee exclaimed when she realized that Kanda wasn't budging. Her spaghetti-strapped, thigh-length, black dress fluttered around her legs as she bounced.

"No. I'm staying here. He chose to leave, and I'm choosing to ignore that he's back," the man said stubbornly.

"Look, Allen told my brother why he left. Komui said that no one should know until Allen told them himself. But I convinced him to tell me. Allen left because the Noah were threatening to kill you if he didn't go. He told my brother that he loves you, and didn't want to see you get hurt, so he left with them."

Kanda was silent, taking in her words. She continued, "He was being tortured, Kanda, and he endured it because he loves you. He'll hurt even worse if you ignore him. Please, please, just go see him."

"Fine, let's go," the samurai said, sheathing Mugen.

The dark-haired man followed Lenalee to the dining hall, watching her gleeful little bounce in her steps. When they reached their destination, Lenalee pointed out the table where a large stack of food was set, and Allen and Link were sitting. The girl dashed across the room and hugged her friend, letting her tears loose.

"You're home!"

Allen awkwardly pat her back and soothed her, "And I'm staying."

"Good," she said, pulling back to arm's-length. "Because I missed you."

"I missed you too, I missed everyone here." Allen's eyes settled on Kanda as he approached.

Kanda was silent for a moment, letting the Moyashi's presence calm his aching heart. "You're back, Moyashi?"

Allen scrunched up his nose and scowled, "Don't call me that, BaKanda."

"Why not? You're so small," the samurai said. His eyes raked over him, making the point that he really was very small, nearly starved in fact.

It wasn't a joke, Allen realized. Kanda was truly worried for him. He cared enough to notice that he was different. "Because it's rude. And if I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. In fact, if I want to talk to you, I'll say the first words, okay?"

Kanda rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, but keeping silent.

"What?" Allen asked, scowling.

"Well, what if I wanted to know why you decided to leave in the first place. It seems like that was a stupid move, even for you."

"W-Well..." Allen began unsteadily, but settled on being annoyed, "Why do you care?"

"Because I don't recall giving you permission to leave," Kanda said.

"I don't remember needing it. In fact, could you explain that to me, BaKanda? Why do I need your permission for anything?," Allen queried.

The raven-haired man gripped the front on Allen's shirt and dragged him up from his seat. Allen thought he was in for a fight, but that thought was extinguished as soon as Kanda's lips met his. The smaller sunk into it before he knew what was happening, wrapping his arms around the taller's neck and gripping his shirt. Kanda kissed him like a starved man with a feast in front of him, claiming every single piece of the Moyashi before having to stop for air.

"What the hell was that?" Allen asked, completely blown away.

"That was my reason."

The smaller man stared, quite aware of the fact that he was still pressed to him. "Use words this time."

A small smirk appeared on Kanda's features, "I thought you liked the physical explanation."

Allen flushed pink, "Th-that's beside the point."

"Fine then. My reason is that I love you, you little bastard. So you have to get my permission," he said it like it was a simple fact of life. And it was.

"I love you too, BaKanda. I left because they threatened your life, and I wasn't ready to lose that," a grin appeared on the Moyashi's face as he spoke.

Kanda's lips pressed to Allen's again, making their heads spin. They were finally together, and that was important. They could taste each other on their lips, feel them in their arms, smell their unique scents, see their pupils dilate, and hear their breath.

And then Lenalee fangirl squealed.


End file.
